


Fall Away

by Your_Cass_is_Mine



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Feel Free To Dropkick Me Into Non-Existence, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I'm a horrible person, M/M, Not Really But You Know What I mean, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicide, Suicide Notes, This is PeriodicallyBleeding's fault, i wrote this at six am, super sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-01-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:15:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22085512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Your_Cass_is_Mine/pseuds/Your_Cass_is_Mine
Summary: Okay, so I'm so sorry, Pretty Triggering... please Stay safe~"I'm sorry," The note said.
Relationships: Josh Dun/Tyler Joseph
Kudos: 14





	Fall Away

The morning was just like every other morning. Dull, dark, same old routine. Except that it wasn't. It might have seemed normal to anybody else, but Josh knew. Josh always knew. Tyler knew that Josh knew.  
That's what made it irritating to Tyler. 

Later that morning, Josh announced that he had to go pick up groceries. He tried to get Tyler to go with him. That plan fell through.

Josh was gone. Their house was quiet. Sometimes quiet is violent. Tyler sat there, on his bed, staring at nothing particular. If somebody happened to glance over at him, they'd think that he was just staring off into space. Inside his head, nothing was quiet. _This is it,_ he thought, _this is the day._   
He shook himself out of his thoughts for the first time in hours. He stood up, searching for a pen, or perhaps a marker. _Something. **Anything.**_ He finally found a standard black pen and a stack of Post-it notes. Josh would get back any time now.

The note read:

**_To anyone that might care about me, I'm sorry for being so selfish. I'm sorry for leaving. I'm sorry for all the people that I've saved with my words. Most of all, I'm sorry Josh... I'm sorry that you couldn't protect me. I don't blame you for anything. It just- I just couldn't... I couldn't save myself. Life doesn't really have meaning if you're not really living. I was really just a shell of who I used to be... I don't even know-- I don't even remember who I was. I guess your own thoughts can do that to you, huh? I want to be angry. But I just don't have the energy. I think, maybe deep inside, I'm pissed. I'm so fucking angry at myself. I've been so angry with myself that I haven't noticed anything except my own feelings._ **

**_So I guess this is goodbye. ~Tyler Joseph_ **

Tyler put the pen down, standing up again. He started running the water in the tub, waiting for the water to warm before going to his and Josh's room to retrieve some things.   
He felt numb. He felt numb as he dug through his nightstand to find the sharpest blade he had. He felt numb as he grabbed a towel. He felt numb as he walked to the bathroom, stripping his shirt off, and climbing into the tub, the blade in his hand. He felt numb as he plugged the drain, and started filling the tub with warm water. He felt numb as he pressed the blade to his bicep, digging the sharp metal in shallowly as if he was experimenting. Droplets of scarlet bled to the surface, eventually collecting together. He moved down slightly, digging into his arm harder. The effect was almost immediate this time. Crimson flowed freely. The drops rolled down his arm. It reminded him of water droplets streaming down the windows in a rainstorm. He moved down again, toward where his upper arm and lower arm met.

**_Nobody likes you_ **

****He dug into the vein there, trying to get the voices to stop. Blood flowed down his arm, even more, dripping off of his skin and into the water.

_**Disgusting** _

The water tinted a faint orange. Tyler bit his bottom lip as he moved to his wrist. A single tear ran down his face. He hadn't even realized he was crying until the tear dripped onto his arm, mixing with the red. Tyler swallowed thickly, before pressing the blade into his wrist, sliding the blade up vertically.

_**Worthless** _

Blood streamed at an alarming pace, dripping into the water even faster.   
Over the water running, and the sound of his heart beating rapidly in his ears, he heard the front door slam and knew that, soon, it would be too late to end his misery. He quickly switched the blade to his other hand. His fingers slipped, and it clattered to the ground loudly. Tyler froze and time seemed to stand still.   
Footsteps ran up the hall and towards the bathroom, a panicked voice yelling through the door, the doorknob rattling as Josh tried to open the door. 

"Tyler! Tyler, please, Tyler, you can't do this, please, let's just talk about this, I'm right here! Don't leave me!" The voice pleaded.

Tyler bit back a sob, and picked the blade up again, digging the harsh metal into his other wrist, dragging it vertically. The world became a little blurry, and his head began spinning. He dropped the blade again, the sound a wet "Plip" as it hit the water. The voices in his head went silent, and the only thing he heard as the life leaked out of him, was Josh's voice pleading with him and the sound of his fading heartbeat in his ears.

As his vision faded, he let out a weak "I'm sorry". 

Finally, the door burst open, and Josh was met with an alarming amount of blood, and the lifeless form of Tyler Joseph.  
A sob tore itself out of Josh's throat as he lunged towards the limp body. His hand blindly dug around for the plug. Sharp stinging pain bit into his middle finger, and he jolted back, watching as a drop of blood gather on his finger. It dripped down his finger, the substance becoming watery as it found droplets of water. It only made him sob harder. He retrieved the piece of metal and hurled it across the room. He finally found the plug, grabbed it, and tugged, the water gurgling as it ran down the drain. Blood was still flowing weakly from Tyler's arms and wrists.

Josh covered his mouth, not caring if he was covered in blood at this point.   
Tears blinded him, as he hoisted Tyler from the bathtub, laying him out across his lap as he sunk to the floor, clutching Tyler tightly to himself.   
Sobs were wrenched out of him, and his body heaved with every breath. His fingers were tangled in wet hair, the other hand was wrapped around the only person he had ever loved. Only then, did he allow himself to get angry. Only when he realized, did he get furious.   
"Tyler... no, no, no, Tyler! Please, come back to me! I-I-I need you, please come back. Oh, God, I'm sorry. I'm s-sorry--"  
His voice cut out then for a moment before he regained the ability to scream.  
He let out a gut-wrenching scream. He yelled until his voice went hoarse, and exhaustion took over.  
Josh didn't realize that he had been sitting there with Tyler in his arms, for an hour.  
He stared at Tyler's pale face, his whole body trembling. Tears dripped off of his own face.  
It made Josh nauseous. Sitting there with his boyfriend's limp and bloody body in his arms, the stench of blood overwhelming.  
Tears couldn't even flow at this point, his body jerking with dry sobs.  
 _"Fuck!"_ Josh's voice rasped out.  
  


He cradled Tyler in his arms, whispering reassuring things in his ear as if Tyler could hear him. He trembled violently, sitting back on his heels and bringing the lifeless form with him. Despite the room being warm from the steam, Tyler's body was cold. Nothing about him carried the warmth he used to have. His usually warm brown eyes now dull and blank. His usually golden tan skin now pale, a blue tint to it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The funeral was small. Only Tyler and Josh's family was there, along with a few close friends. Josh did his best not to break down in sobs every time he saw Tyler. It had been two days. Two days since Tyler Joseph had taken his own life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Josh got back to the house, his eyes blank. He went into their-- his-- room. Only then, while he was rummaging around in his drawer, trying to find something to wear, only then did he find the note.  
He picked it up, sitting back on his bed, opening the folded piece of paper. His eyes slid along the paper as he read it, his eyes filling with tears. A small sob escaped his throat, and he dropped the paper like it was poisonous. It floated to the ground. Anger filled the blue-haired boy. Self-hatred for making Tyler feel unloved, worthless, weak. Toxic fury bubbled to the surface. Telling himself that he had fucked up would be an understatement. Josh wanted to scream, he wanted to yell, he wanted to crawl out of his own skin. Disgusted with himself.


End file.
